National Bullying Prevention Month. And I feel compelled to take notice. Because according to PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center, a leading nonprofit dedicated to the eradication of bullying, more than 160,000 U.S. students stay home from school each day out of fear of being picked on. That's a lot of kids. Kids who don't deserve to wake up each day with knots in their stomach caused by the dread of whom they are going to encounter in the halls between third and fourth period. That's a lot of kids being relentlessly gossiped about at lunchroom tables and on Facebook and Twitter. It's kids who have developed crippling cases of anxiety or depression because of the cruelty of other kids.">
I often have no idea what day of the week it is. So please forgive me if I'm even less inclined to know which "awareness" month we are in. I guess, with the world bedecked in pink ribbons, it's kind of hard to miss that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But I had no idea it's also Auto Battery Safety Month and Talk About Prescriptions Month.
With all due respect to both issues though, I'm probably not racing out in search of the appropriate rubber, color-coded bracelet to honor either cause.
October, I just discovered, is also National Bullying Prevention Month. And I feel compelled to take notice. Because according to PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center, a leading nonprofit dedicated to the eradication of bullying, more than 160,000 U.S. students stay home from school each day out of fear of being picked on. That's a lot of kids. Kids who don't deserve to wake up each day with knots in their stomach caused by the dread of whom they are going to encounter in the halls between third and fourth period. That's a lot of kids being relentlessly gossiped about at lunchroom tables and on Facebook and Twitter. It's kids who have developed crippling cases of anxiety or depression because of the cruelty of other kids.
I've been a part of the problem. I'm guessing many of us have. Because while I can't remember the names of many of the kids I went to elementary school with, I can vividly remember those of two--one boy in my grade and another girl on the bus--who were mercilessly teased by classmates. Neither did anything at all to invite the torment. They became victims because they were quiet and wore what the third grade establishment had deemed "nerdy" clothing--"flood" pants and horn-rimmed glasses. As if the rest of us in our Toughskins and Marcia Brady mini-dresses were that much cooler.
No, I was never the one to call him "Buger Jeffrey" or move to a new seat when the girl, two years younger, sat down near me on the ride to school. But I regret never once saying anything, not even to my own parents, about the other kids who were outwardly acting like jerks. I guess I was inwardly acting like a jerk. I didn't want to jeopardize my own social standing, even if it meant turning a deaf ear to the name-calling and ridiculing.
The overt verbal teasing of elementary school was replaced by subtler stuff in middle school. Gossip and cliquishness replaced the taunts. But it was still about jockeying for power and perceived popularity. Reputations were tarnished and social hierarchies established. And someone always felt shunned. Who were the bullies and who were the victims changed places on a daily basis. It was a constant battle. And no one won.
There is no question my kids' schools today are far more sophisticated and in tune with how they approach bullying than any of my schools ever were. At the elementary level my daughter took part in her school's Unity Day last month, which focused on the importance of kindness and compassion. And in my son's middle school, just about every kid has signed a pledge to stand up to bullying and harassment. The pledge is displayed banner-style over the school's main staircase--a constant reminder that students there can do better.
Probably out of guilt for never having interceded, I just did a brief search for both of my bullied classmates online. I can't find the boy, probably because I never bothered to learn to spell his last name. But that "nerdy" girl who sat quietly at the back of the bus every day now holds three patents, has testified before Congress, is a world-renowned expert on cyber security, and is absolutely gorgeous.
I'm glad she turned out okay -- and then some. But it's not such a happy ending for so many victims of bullying.
So in her honor, and in honor of Jeffrey, I will wear orange on Wednesday, October 10, PACER's national Unity Day. Because just being aware of the need for a little more awareness--whether one day or the whole month -- might go a long way in making a whole year's worth of schooling easier for over 160,000 kids.comments powered by Disqus
This past week, against both my will and better judgement, I accompanied 50 or so middle school kids to the Future Problem Solvers Wisconsin State Bowl, a popular academic and skit-writing competition. It was my husband who had originally signed up to chaperone the event, thinking that spending a few days with his 11-year-old daughter and her compatriots would serve as an excellent anthropological experience. But when an unexpected work obligation made it impossible for him to attend, it was me left holding the bag
It may be a bigger waste of breath than electricity to ask my kids to turn off the lights when they leave a room. If I've nagged them once, I've nagged them a thousand times. No, I've never noticed anything amiss with their fingers. But it appears they are physically incapable of flipping a switch to the "off" position.
I want to say thank you to the Board of Education for allowing Maia to return to class, unquestionably the place she belongs, as well as to thank them for adopting the new policies. But just as importantly, I also want to thank Maia and her family for their willingness to come forward with their story.
Some clever-clogs is playing Rachmaninoff on the piano at a party, and there it is again, that oft-heard adult lament of lost opportunity from a dejected onlooker: "I wish I could play. I wish my parents hadn't let me quit music lessons. I was just a kid -- how was I to know?" It's a reasonable complaint.
If you're checking out summer camps for your child, there are many issues -- some obvious, some less so -- to keep in mind. Here's a list to keep handy when you contact camps and camp directors, looking for the perfect spot for your kids to have fun, relax, and learn this summer.
I know, in the grand scheme of things, that my kid issues, when it comes to dining out, absolutely pale in comparison to those of parents whose kids have special needs. Many kids, especially those who are on the autism spectrum, are disturbed by changes in their routine, or anxious around noisy places. They may not be able tolerate waiting for a table or standing in line. So unfortunately, many of these families just avoid eating out at restaurants altogether.
It's weird to admit this, especially in a city surrounded by as much outdoor beauty as Madison. But frankly, I'm just not that into nature. I'm more of an indoor kind of gal. Give me an afternoon at the Chazen or the Wisconsin Historical Museum over the Arboretum or Olbrich Gardens any day.
Lavish costumes, gorgeous sets, a full orchestra and a concession stand where nothing cost more than two bucks and you have a pitch perfect experience at the theater. Oh, and did I mention the ticket prices were just $10 dollars apiece? One could afford to take the whole family for a live theater experience for less than an evening at the Lego movie would cost including popcorn.
I think the first time in recent years that I've felt a real sense of shame, as both a parent and community member, was last Tuesday evening as I sat in a crowded elementary school LMC to listen to Ken Taylor, executive director of the Wisconsin Council on Children and Families, and his colleague, Torry Wynn, present key findings from the 2013 Race to Equity report to our PTO group.
It's Wednesday morning at Allis Elementary School on Madison's east side, and 16 third-graders -- 10 boys and six girls -- enter into an open-space classroom in typical wiggly, giggly style. Some are making goofy faces at one another, some are bouncing around hand-in-hand with friends, and others are just trying to stay out of the whirling-dervish path of activity.
Of the 789 poorly-composed, way-too-dark and out-of-focus photos currently living on my iPhone, I can count on two hands the number that show my kids and me together. And my husband is in probably no more than three or four of those.
Something kind of magical has happened these past two weeks during the Sochi Olympics. There is no question, debate or disagreement on what will be watched on television once all homework is done. Everyone in the family makes time to sit down together to watch an hour of so of the primetime televised games.
Truth be told, though, this month I'm feeling a bit cinematically fried. In some ways, I already feel like I've spent the last week or so at a film festival. A festival specializing in minute-long glimpses of ordinary lives all ending with credits that feature the ubiquitous blue thumbs-up. Yes, it's been the February of the Facebook movie.
Just last week, on precisely the same day the Momastery post was getting over a million well-deserved views, Madison mom Suzanne Buchko was telling a similar story. Not on a blog but instead in the confines of the modestly circulated Franklin-Randall Elementary School weekly newsletter.
Late last month, the Madison Metropolitan School District adopted a five-year, $27.7 million technology plan calling for all district students, including those in the primary grades, to have significantly increased access to their very own tablet or notebook computer by 2019. Some parents, as well as education professionals, questioned whether elementary-aged kids, especially kindergarteners who aren't even able to read or write yet, will gain much benefit from introducing yet another screen into their lives.
This past Monday, had winter's unrelenting weather allowed, Middleton Cross Plains School District teacher Andrew Harris would have once again been at the helm of a classroom. After nearly four years of fighting his dismissal from Glacier Creek Middle School for viewing and passing on sexually explicit material on district computers, MCPSD has been legally forced to reinstate Herris, this time as a seventh-grade science teacher at Kromrey Middle School.
In a study published last week by the National Bureau of Economic Research, academics have found that the 16 and Pregnant series may have played a significant role in the recent decrease in U.S. teen pregnancies.
In our house, sad but true, we've rarely spent the Martin Luther King holiday discussing race, social justice or the power of non-violent civil disobedience. Instead, the third Monday in January has historically been treated as just another day off school, just another long weekend. And it's been a missed opportunity.
It's not something that happens very often, but last Friday, as news of the impending arctic cold snap reached our house, my kids were rooting for Governor Scott Walker. They were rooting for him to take Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton's lead and cancel school throughout the state. They couldn't care less if he had the authority to do such a thing -- if he called off school, he'd be their hero.
Late last semester, as students were packing up their backpacks one final time before winter break, Middleton High School principal Denise Herrmann and assistant principal Lisa Jondle were co-authoring a note home to parents informing them of a widespread cheating scandal involving nearly 250 calculus students at the school.